Now that he has chosen his room for next year, we bring you the latest in our series celebrating quality room reviews. Thus wrote PCC of his beloved Botolph 31:
In 2019–2020, Pablo Cano Carciofa had Botolph 31 as a second year room. "Botolph 31 has served me well this year, with the right decor you can absolutely make it a great Cambridge home. PROS - I cannot express how amazing it is to have an ensuite bathroom, this is very much a privilege at Corpus, so get ready to enjoy some high-pressure, perfect temperature, on-demand showers. - Kim, the Botolph bedder, is an absolute queen and will look after you as if you were her firstborn. - Fairly spacious, room to bring a few bits of extra furniture (I brought my keyboard with me) without it getting in the way. - You have access to the best kitchen in Corpus = good opportunity to cook real food with friends and sit round a table together. - Radiator keeps you warm through the winter months. - Bed is fairly comfortable, would recommend bringing a double duvet for extra comfort. - A relatively new room so furniture is fresh and the carpet isn't gross. I would recommend bringing a rug though because it helps kill the officey vibes of that tasty royal blue carpet. - You don't have to travel far at all to do your washing. CONS - Your main window looks out onto Pembroke street and, as you're on the ground floor, pedestrians will peer into your room every now and then. There is a kind of shutter which blocks the view while letting some light in, but the whole ordeal does restrict the amount of natural light you get. - Room can get a bit stuffy as there is only one opening window. - Not the most storage but also I overpack so badly so that could just be my fault :P - Your door goes directly onto the courtyard, and not into the main building, so you do have to go outside briefly to get to your kitchen (i.e. you'd have to go outside to get the milk for your cup of tea) which is annoying but I just told myself to get a grip during the first fortnight and it's honestly fine after that. Tbh writing this review has just made me realise how much I love Botolph 31 and I wish I could live there again next year. Look after her :'("
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The latest fresher action shows Ribeiro-Castro, Abu, and Hooper all taking up residence next to one another in the blessèd Robert Beldam Building (designed by Nicholas Hare Architects, awarded a Civic Trust Commendation, AND opened in 1995 by HRH the Duke of Gloucester). Let's hope its prime position away from the watchful eye of Mr Lightning means Beldam can become the rave pit it so desperately (and so greatly deserves) to be !!
In a supreme act of room ballot shit-housery, the blog hears that JM is only now setting off for Newnham to scope out his options. Newnham residents be on the look out for an unusually dimensioned fresher clambering up the wall outside your window to sneak a peak at your pad.
Mr May, all we have to say is sort yourself out. The ballot waits for no one and, at risk of sounding like a disappointed supervisor, we really do expect more preparation than this. Do better As JP enjoys the rugby to distract himself from the inevitability of living in the swamp at the bottom of Newnham next year he mulls over his choices. Excited by the prospect of taking up residence in the sunlit uplands of Newnham 13 he nonetheless is thirsty for more, lamenting 'I should've gone gold digging on the room ballot more'.
Perhaps what we are seeing is in fact a new way to make the ballot exciting. Eschewing the traditional ballot excitement of speed picking and terrorising slow choosers, the new generation chooses personal thrills instead. By leaving their decision to the last minute they create even more stress for themselves. Such a high octane approach is laudable, but not collegiate.
The blog would like to remind everyone that we are a small and friendly community. Therefore we ask that people give everyone joy, rather than just themselves, and restore traditional ballot fun. Fresh from snapping up his snazzy Hare and Hounds fleece (woof), Young Marcus hoons into Newnham 5. Sneakily taking a fish bowl room that isn't overlooked it is alleged that he is hiding something. Dear reader, we leave this to your imagination but sufficed to say he'll be keeping those curtains closed anyway.
ps we have had a small tip off Amateurs, amateurs everWHERE. Not-so-Curious George failed to do his room ballot homework, leaving decisions until now and hence,,,, once again,, the ballot is bal-stopped. But, after all, can we blame him? or should we look to his role models, the sluggish second years who contemplate the room database for as long as JCR have milled over which colour to use in the hotly anticipated refurb?!
Just as some momentum was building it all grinds to a halt again.
The blog hears that young Mr Yun is fencing (stolen goods?) in Oxford. Not content with stealing hearts (and marriages) in Cambridge he appears to be roaming in search of further treasured ideas to claim as his own. Well, Will, we say get on and choose your room - though do also bring us back a trophy pls And thus it happens. Botolph 4b has fallen, and so high up as well! Hobbiton's equally hobbity neighbour has been snapped up by a presumably penitential member of the community.
In the anchorite tradition, Mayeule appears to have opted for isolation from society in order to reach higher spiritual planes (read Tripos scores) than the rest of us. Giving up vitamin D for Lent seems like the perfect way to kick this off. The blog hears tell that a group of freshers, spearheaded by Mr Barrow, are holding a lock in until the ballot is done. This follows an entire day traipsing round Cambridge to assess their options - they even went to T Street!
We're not sure whether to applaud them or just look on in bemusement. Either way, someone might want to go and check on our young colleagues, too much time in a room together isn't good for anyone, though it is useful training for their inevitable Newnham life. Such dedication to the ballot is commendable but surely getting a life would be a better way to spend Week 8. Then again, some of us are left writing this damn thing. The final second years have picked the measly remains (except you Tooze, Benet 1 is a #steal) or been swept up by the reserve list.
Now on to you freshers. Will it be Newnham, will it be Botolph, I guess we'll have to wait a see... The room reviews offer incredible insight not only into the workings of each abode, yet also the minds of their week-8-weary occupants. But T5's review, with its references to wanking (rah rah rah), and its incredibly incoherent structure, the ballot blog is undecided as to whether to Blore is in need of a mid-breakdown hug or a stupendous shag. Either way, can someone check on him?
The traditionally wholesome Botolph is returning to its plague-pit roots with the the bad bad men of second year securing their residence beyond the walls of college this year. Poor, unsuspecting freshers can anticipate blaring polish rap, a lot of tracksuit airing in the washing room, and the occasional Sunday roast rustled up by the #gang (we were surprised by these abilities, too).
But hennies, before you scamper off, can one of you tell the ring master AT to stop playing football in his lovely prize room... the ballot may not be a concern of his but the noise is driving 67% of the library insane. If you don't wish to take a chance on the reserve list, then the security of your current room at Newnham is always a popular option. Having had the luxury of picking the best digs in Corpus's colony across the Cam last year, you may as well enjoy the same privilege when faced with the remaining dregs of college to inhabit.
For those freshers excited about "living it up" away from the Porters and crap gyps, look out for the rarely spotted third year and their pass agg messages to the Newnham House gc. With coronavirus on the up, their levels of self-isolation may soon become enviable... We've hit a classic point in the course of our blessèd ballot, where those budding lower order balloters chance their arm on the delights of the reserve list.
Previous successful gambles have produced such rewards as the underestimated prize room R3 ("perfect for pres with a begrudging friend!" - EKS), Y3 and half of P staircase. However, the blog has been made aware - via anonymous sources - that some level of controversy has arisen. After LPP's failed tactical reserve last year, many anxious, mediocre placed balloters have feared a similar automatic relegation to the bottom of the reserve list. Yet, in classic Corpus fashion of revolutionary gusto and anti-establishment fervour, the students have stuck it to the man (that man being Jorik) and reinstated the right to roam at the top of the reserve list for whoever chooses such a sneaky stratagem. The JCR declined to comment on the issue. #spreadthesheet #therevolutionwillnotbetelevised Well, well, well.
As those well-versed in the ballot will know, nothing is worse than endlessly refreshing the page until your name appears in bold. As a prime example, self-confessed Corpus "queen of chat" found her self paralysed by those balloters before her. While attempting to nosh on the sweet delights of hall (what was with the egregious amount of mustard? @ChrisLevine sort it out), her frustration became palpable. Such outbursts included: "Just f*@&ing come on" "Tell Michael Hare he's a ¢#&^" "It's like waiting for f*@&ing UCAS" After all this outrage, she finds herself waiting a year and a half for the former digs of Corpus's premium "bad man". Those not accustomed to "TD" may want to refer to Dr McGee's magnum opus, 'Corpus Males: A Mad, Bad and Dangerous People'. It looks like bad chat and potential sharking has found residency, once again, in C8... With LJB taking Y8 the room will now enter its third year of rower occupation. Is it something about cramp surroundings that attracts them? Or maybe lack of sleep? Whatever the reason everyone's favourite broom cupboard near an oven (perfect for crew dinners!!) has been kept in the family.
And they say rowers are all the same..... We're slightly worried Sam Pallister has taken his halfway hall award to heart and picked a room to match his chat...
Alexandre (the Greatre) Mann may not have Ooooo in his grasp yet, but he's as close as can be to safeguard the JCR next term. President-less or not, Mann will just be a rickety staircase un-fit-for-purpose away from his favourite room in college. Plus P has a toilet in the staircase. In all respects, well played Mr Mann.
Another recently bladed boatie procrastinates. Sadly, unlike Downing, our rowers aren't allowed to live full time in the boat house (they could have fooled us though).
Rumour has it that LJB is too busy with ergs to dedicate herself to the far more important room ballot. After all, how else will she ensure enough space for that lovely blade? #anoarismoreusefulthanapiano Our blessèd ballot has picked up some steam, and those sweet sweet Old Court pads are finally being snatched up.
Yet, little do these budding balloters know about the spooky inhabitants of these prized possessions. Resident College historian Spooks McGee has written extensively on the mysterious apparitions who find their home in Oxbridge's oldest court (Mob Quad, Merton can fuck off with its wiki entry "the oldest quadrangle of any Oxford or Cambridge college"#fakenews #GDBO). Dr McGee, in his latest article for The Record or The Letter or whatever they're calling that piece of instant recycling these days, commented that 'Corpus has a history of sinister phantoms that come to haunt finalists, such as Frank Oh of M5, with his persistent calls of "brother", and Keml Oh of P4a with his eerie undertone of "good from you". If I were strolling into a 14th Century pad next year, I'd make sure to watch my back on those long, dark walks to the shower...' W1 stroke woman is living up to the obsession of her captaincy predecessor but putting rowing literally before everything else. Rather than avidly following the room ballot like the rest of us, she has catastrophically caked it and her turn is now coinciding with an erg. Get your eyes out of the boat and onto the bloody room ballot, LJ
MMLers leave a 'have your cake and eat it' scenario, choosing a room for their fourth year but also leaving their remaining third year comrades to have the same room.
Kwaku Gyasi has done just that! I'm sure the rest of third year will be sooooo chuffed to still be able to choose 6TS 18... Shame on you Gyasi; but when will it be picked again? Shame on who? A hot take from an anonymous second year. And while they may think this perspective makes them cool (because surely aaallll the cool kids hoon to newn), do they know it merely exhibits their blind ignorance to all that is great about bot bot? it in itself is a microcosm of our small and friendly college. Do they know that the botolph showers don't flood as do 40% of those in newnham? do they know that Kim the bedder will practically become your second mother, while Cynth will literally make your life a living hell with not-even-passive aggressive notes? Botolph may be buit on a plague pit, but you'll be thinking of it as a safe haven when faced with the cesspit of 40 sweaty second years festering out together !
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