The rooms have been picked. The deed is done. Y was snapped up early, athough JC isn't in Y6 or O0, EM has to deal with JP's piss staining her sink, HR has PH's old crusty sheets, CB has continued his MH metamorphosis, RM will be dealing revs tickers in Newnham, JF took the cupboard under the stairs, XW took colleges smallest room for the second year in a row, and BC has the unfortunate reality of sharing a kitchen with MF next year as he transitions from cooking fish on a hob to cooking it in the microwave. Perhaps the last story of note was that some poor freshers have the long walk all the way to Barton Road. Not really anything funny to add on that one, thats just depressing. So, we meet our end. You have been the Romeo to my Juliet, the King to my Kong, and the playing music so loud in your earphones that everyone can hear your Taylor swift to my Taylor Library. Seriously, I don't know who the fuck it is right now but turn that shit off.
Only one thing left to say from Blogger HQ. Charlie Ranson sucks toes. Good night.
0 Comments
Many may lose interest in the ballot when it gets to the bottom of second year, but this keen blogger has not. Instead, I've had my eyes glued to the battle between HC and JS for the final spot in 23CR. HC reportedly edged the fight between the two titans. At least victory means that HC can't blame his studs this week.
The masses turn to the reserve list as HC slides into the cave that is Newnham 10 leaving JR distraught, his hopes crumbling at the last hurdle. Now we will wait to see who will concede and take the long trudge to Barton Road. Come on JS, HC and SM make the place your own, you are already used to walks back home alone!
With JO and JS securing Newnham, the romance has never been closer. However will JO be able to resist the dazzling RM, their shared bathroom and landing may be too much for him. Only time will tell if the Js will prosper.
Raw hearts and bare feet are on their way to Cranmer, as OD snatches a room in 19CR. His housemates already hoping for lots of rain next year to keep those sandals on. Don't expect him to get too attached to the place, wouldn't be very stoic.
News just in that this will be striking Newnham next year, the main symptom being sleep deprivation. EO taking the bold move and already ordering a stash of ear plugs.
Shocking scenes, as the only Fresher anyone knows, RM, chooses a room MILES away from revs. How on earth the Corpus Revs rep will deal with the extra 5 minute walk to and from his hallowed turf? Will he erect a Revs shrine in Newnham house? Will he swap the corridors of the library for the corridors of Newnham house for his dealing of revs tickets like crack to the addicts? The only certainty is that his neighbours will be woken up in the early hours of Thursday morning every week.
Another submission focussing on the current year. You freshers just have an obsession with us...
Apparently HR will receive PR's crusty bed sheets along with Newnham 24. Lucky man! Not naming names but some of the biggest virgins at cambridge could lose their virginity before HH chooses his room
We are relying on submissions massively for our current freshers, because you are all anonymous to both of our bloggers at Blogger HQ. Use the contact button!
If the second year room ballot was any slower it would be Internet explorer. Newnham still looking empty at this point AG on her own and HH holding everyone up. Not for the Ukrainian Army this time but for the sheer number of 2nd year wetties who wouldn't take the step into no-man's land.
As the Mammadovinator strikes, the bottom of the ballot feels the wrath of ... well, the ballot. The only hope these Reservists now have is a major outflanking manoeuvre from Prize Winners. For that reason, I present to you my ABBA-inspired Ode to Prize Winners: Half past 5 And I'm watching this shit show in Newnham basement all alone How I hate to mourn my 3rd year on my own Chris Kelly's wind Blowing outside my window as I search for other rooms And it makes me so depressed to see the gloom There's not a First out there No one to swap their stair Gimme, gimme, gimme a Neek before dinner Won't a Mathmo help me get the Reserve List away Gimme, gimme, gimme a Neek before dinner Shunt me through the ballot to a better staircase We reported yesterday here at Blogger HQ that CB was entering his cocoon for his MH metamorphosis. Unfortunately, it seems like the success of BM, CR, HD, PH, and JF all joining ET at CR23 has broken his transformation early...
Perhaps there is still a touch of the MH in there, as Cosimorte clutches his ankle. JF has taken the cupboard under the stairs of 23CR in order to live in Corpus' hottest property. Sometimes brave souls make sacrifices for the greater good, and JF is a bad brave soul indeed. I would recommend that you start queuing now ladies if you want to find out whether JF has the magic touch with his nimbus 2001.
One of the first things most people do when looking at rooms for next year is take a look at the reviews. EM chose 6TS4, maybe it was JP's review that made her mind up for her. It definitely would have made my mind up one way (or more likely the other). Here is an excerpt from his prose:
'I pissed in the sink so many times this year that its not even funny. Sometimes I was genuinely surprised that I needed a piss (in the sink) so soon after my previous piss (in the sink). It occurs to me that I still have a term and a half of sink-pissing left in me, which I intend to use to its full potential. I feel like even if you clean the sink with bleach, my piss still lingers in all its symbolic and spiritual glory. When you wash your face, it will feel unclean. When you fill up your glass of water, you are essentially reaching into a urinal. I hope that you have a piss kink, so that you are not broken by the inevitability of my piss, but rather you are invigorated and titillated by its omnipresence.' Ill link the full review here: http://services.jcr.corpus.cam.ac.uk/ballot/room/304 EM's neighbours are currently unknown, I apologise in advance for what the brave souls who choose 6TS3 and 5 might hear through the walls... We thought it was about time to have a look into where our corpus love-birds have built their nests this year.
LH has just picked Botolph 9 so all eyes are eagerly awaiting TH's pick. We all expect the years biggest simp to nestle in nearby. The new kids on the looooove scene are FM and SM. Once again, only one half has picked so far, with FM opting for a sweet looking New court room, H6, with large windows out onto Trumpington street. Does he have kinky exhibitionist plans with SM, or does he simply want to keep his plants alive this year? The gorgeous SP and the incredibly masculine, witty, and all-round legend BM have opted to spread their wings and live in opposite parts of Cambridge. SP has tucked herself up in an attic again (because she doesn't like people very much) and BM was the trailblazer the incredible swoop for CR23. Can only see this incredible pair going from strength to strength. CR and YR will be even further apart than BM and SP, unless CR gets as desperate as YR's ex and says that he will follow her to Egypt. Roadwoman RD and Roadman OAW will both be spending next year in France, but on their return they will have the long journey from Botolph to Cranmer Road separating them. Once upon a time there was a man called HD,
Who ran from college, ran from Newnham, ran from scary JC, He took his normal MacBook charger and Gucci belt To the safe haven of Cranmer, where safe is how he felt. CR and HD absolutely done-out or as mr right right right pronounces it: “dunnowt”. CR and HD in the mud. Big up SP
A whopping 20% of undergraduates believe that the JCR President's room is THE WORST room in college. All I'm wondering is which room they are talking about: o0 or Y6?
In other news, Charles Read has become the most popular man in college, with the least votes for the worst neighbour. At the other end of the table it is still all to play for with the toilet skidder narrowly edging it over your ex and someone who doesn't know how to have quiet sex as things stand. I'm up in just over half an hour. The nerves are jingling my jangles.
The last hour or so has seen a wave of 2nd years book their place at T-Street 6 and 8. Incredible scenes from XW who has already taken college's smallest room off the marketplace FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW. The room was small enough to frustrate JA who said 'do not be tempted to take this room' in his review, but 6TS11 clearly has a big place in the heart of XW.
You are my fire (escape)
The one desire Believe when I say I wanted Y staircase But we are two courts apart And my slot still won't start When you say That I wanted Y staircase Tell me Y Ain't nothin' but a heartache Tell me Y Ain't nothin' but a mistake Tell me Y I never wanna hear you say At least there's still X staircase As soon as CB met MH he was star-struck. Every part of his being yearned to be the mighty MH. At the first chance he got CB become captain of the mighty CCCFC, following in the masculine footsteps (or is he still on crutches) of MH. Now, almost a year later, CB has taken another step in his MH metamorphosis. This blogger can confirm from an inside, reliable, and top secret source that CB has snatched up R3 on the room ballot and will live in the shadow of MH on his return from his year abroad. Will proximity to bin-court and the washing machines mean that CB finally stops relying on his mum to do his washing? Or will we have to wait until he catches a glimpse of MH doing his laundry?
More to come on this breaking story. |
Categories
All
Archives
March 2024
This website uses marketing and tracking technologies. Opting out of this will opt you out of all cookies, except for those needed to run the website. Note that some products may not work as well without tracking cookies. Opt Out of Cookies |